I find myself sitting here in my apartment in Hat Yai, Thailand approaching a pivotal time in my life. I have seven more school days left of teaching English in Thailand. As the soft echo of Spotify’s “Chill House” bounces from my computer around these four walls, I’ve come to the realization that I’m not quite sure what’s next in life for me. The corner of the page is lifted, about to be turned over to the next chapter. I’d be fooling you if I said it didn’t feel all too familiar. Though I realize now, the feeling may be familiar, but the circumstance most certainly is not. I’m not sure which way to move. I’m not sure what to put in my backpack. I’m not sure which flight to book. I’m not sure which city to call home. I’m not sure what memories to hold onto, and which to leave here in this space I’ve called home the last 4 months. Truth be told, I do not know what move to make next.
One thing I do know, however, is that I am moving forward. In this moment, writing this blog post, I am making forward movement. Even sitting perfectly still, you can be moving forward. See it’s not always literal movement that takes us places. Sometimes it is simply a thought that propels us forward into the next thought, into the next step, into the next city, into the next career move, into the next relationship, and into the next greatest moment in our lives. Just as these thoughts can move us forward, they can also move us backward, deeper into the past. Here’s the kicker – we must choose to make forward movement. It doesn’t happen automatically. You must make a conscious effort to move forward.
I catch myself wanting to calculate every upcoming movement, and in turn trying to calculate the future. I think my family has gotten used to the idea that they’re not quite sure where Amanda is going next. Bless them for accepting me. The truth of the matter is at times even Amanda doesn’t know where she is going (not to worry, I have plenty of options swirling around in the infinite universe of possibilities).
The bottom line is: Through my experience, I’ve come to find that as long as I’m moving with the right intention, a right frame of mind, with love in my heart, intelligence in my mind, wisdom in my soul, a smile on my face, and most importantly trust in myself, I will forever be making forward movement.
Keep it moving… forward. Stay tuned to see which move is next!